Once again, blessings to all of our moms here today – to those present, or represented! Thank you for all you do and have done! Let's hear it again for our moms and grandmas...!
My relationship with my mom, at times, was reminiscent of Calvin and his. Case in point...
(Don's “mom” walks up)
Don: Hi Mom! Guess what? I made you breakfast for Mother's Day! (grabbing a frying pan)
I prepared eggs, toast and orange juice for you all by myself!
Mom: How nice! You're such a good boy!
Don: I know, right? However, the eggs kind of burned and stuck to the pan, but you can probably
chip them out with a chisel. (handing her the pan)
Mom: (looking at it and then at him) Uh...., where is the toast and orange juice?
Don: Dad said not to tell you about that until tomorrow.... I also made you a Mother's Day card!
Mom: How sweet! You're a good egg, Donnie, a little cracked..., and a bit burnt, but a good egg.
Don: (handing her the card) Go ahead and read it! I did it all by myself! (she opens it and reads...)
Mom: “I was going to buy a card with hearts of pink and red, but then I thought I'd rather spend the money on me, instead. It's awfully hard to buy things when one's allowance is so small....
(Don clears his throat) So I guess you're pretty lucky I got you anything at all. Happy Mother's Day to you. There I said it. Now I'm done. So how about getting going and cooking breakfast for your son?” (dryly, sarcastically) I’m deeply moved.
Don: It's touching, isn't it? By the way, did you notice the part about my allowance?
Clearly, my mother was a patient, long-suffering kind of mom. Thankfully, her repeated wish that I'd one day have kids just like me, didn't pan out. Mine were much better, thanks to their mom.
Admittedly, today's reading may seem like a strange one for Mother's Day. Paul is addressing issues of marriage, here and elsewhere in this chapter, as we saw earlier in this series in a sermon entitled, “A Vexing Valentine”. You can find copies of that in the back if you missed it.
Still, in the heart of today's text we find Paul's only reference to children and parenting in his letter. In building his case, on “Making Your Home Holy”, Paul provides three timeless points. The First is this: “To make your home holy, you must protect the sanctity of marriage.”
Paul begins this section with a reference to Jesus' teaching on marriage, which in fact, is a reference to that of Moses: “For those who are married, I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave her husband...and a husband must not leave his wife.”
(1 Corinthians 7:10-11)
By quoting Jesus, Paul emphasizes that marriage is a sacred covenant that shouldn't be broken. Jesus' teaching on the matter, as you heard in our reading from Matthew 19, was in response to the religious leaders trying to entrap him with a question about the Mosaic concession for divorce. Jesus makes clear that's not what God desires but provides a way out when a marriage has become toxic.
The mosaic law focused on what's allowed in terms of men seeking a divorce. Paul, in turn, focuses on the woman's equal right to seek a divorce, when he adds: “A wife must not leave her husband, but if she does, let her remain single or else be reconciled to him.” (1 Corinthians 7:10-11)
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It perfectly echoes Jesus' teaching and intent but adding a clause for women, to show that the wife's rights are equal to that of her husband. It also acknowledges that in some cases, it may well be best for her to leave a marriage, such as in cases of infidelity or abuse. But in most cases, Paul, like Jesus, urges the couple to work it out. Seek reconciliation, he urges. Be slow to give up on each other.
For a home to be holy, we must model to our children a willingness to try and work out our differences.
Consider, perhaps, taking the Marriage Course which starts tomorrow. Get equipped. Have some fun!
Paul moves on to the question at hand. That is, Paul, in this section, as he has throughout this letter, is answering a question that some of the Christians in Corinth are asking him. Namely, they are wondering if, when one of them becomes Christian and their spouse does not, should they then divorce their unbelieving husband or wife out of devotion to Jesus? And Paul's response...?
“Though I don't have a direct command from the Lord...,” as Jesus never addressed this issue, “if a believer has a wife who's not a believer and she is willing to remain with him, he must not leave her, and if a believing woman has an unbelieving husband willing to remain, she mustn't leave him.”
(1 Corinthians 7:12-13)
Paul urges them to remain married because marriage is God's means by which a woman and a man are to live out his plan of loving relationships by which children can be raised in a loving, trusting environment. Though their question comes out of good intent, their actions are a bit confused. Paul, also notes a circumstance in which this may not work out, as when the unbelieving spouse wants out.
Again, Paul urges them, if that's not the case, stick it out & work it out, if you can. Paul knows how hard this can be. Many of you find yourself in just such a situation, who seek to know and follow Christ, to worship him here in Christian community and do so without your spouse because he/she does not share your faith, or at least your level of commitment. That's hard. It's why Paul revisits this issue in a follow up letter, when he writes: “Do not be yoked with an unbeliever.” (2 Corinthians 6:14)
This is not a law; any more than this second point is a law. It's why Paul prefaces it by saying that this not a direct command from the Lord. It's Paul's advice. He's urging them to make decisions that honor their Father in heaven while guarding their own heart. This later teaching from 2 Corinthians is advice directed at those who're single. It's dating advice. It's as if Paul is urging the singles to confer with those whose marriage question he's here responding to:Ask anyone who came to faith after getting married how hard it is to be in a marriage with someone who doesn't share your faith! It's painful! There's tension and there will always be a tug to follow their lead and disconnect.” His second point then for creating a holy home is specifically for those married to an unbeliever. Stay married, knowing that God has you there for a reason, unless they refuse to stay married, in which case, let them go.
Note as well how Paul underscores the equality, or mutuality, of a godly marriage. What applies to the husband, applies to the wife, and vica versa. It's seen in the above statement (vv. 12-13), and is echoed again in Paul's rhetorical question: “Don't you wives realize that your husband might be saved because of you? And don't you husbands realize that your wives might be saved because of you?” (1 Corinthians 7:16)
In short, for some of us, our mission field starts in our own home. So, seek to make it holy!
Therein lies Paul’s third point and the heart of his teaching in this passage. Here it is: “For the believing wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the believing husband brings holiness to his marriage. Otherwise, our children would not be holy, but now they are holy.” (1 Corinthians 7:14)
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Note again, the balanced phrasing. What applies to one, applies to the other. Paul uses that phrasing four times in these seven short verses. It brings perspective to the difficult passage Jamie preached on last week with a reference to the head of the household. We're to yield to one another. One's not the boss and the other their servant. There's to be mutuality. What applies to one...!
Paul builds on that as he calls us to witness to our unbelieving family members. We're to bring holiness to our homes. Here Paul revisits a theme from his letter's intro: “You who have been called by God to be His own holy people. He made you holy by means of Christ Jesus, just as He did for all people everywhere who call on the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (1 Corinthians 1:2)
Wait! So, who's holy? All people everywhere who call on the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. That includes you....and me! But how can sinful people like me and you be holy?! Paul answers that here as well! God made you holy by means of Christ Jesus! That is, you're holy not because you are such a good person, such a loving Christian, you're holy because of Jesus. His death and resurrection made it possible for you to be holy as you acknowledge your need for him and put your faith in him!
What Paul is urging here in his little Mother's Day Card to the church is that of his compelling his siblings in Christ to model holiness in our homes, so that our spouses have a chance to see what it looks like, and in turn, our children may be given the opportunity to become holy as well. How so? How do we do that? Three primary ways we practice holiness: Prayer, presence and worship.
My friends, pray daily for your spouses and children who as yet are not walking with the Lord. Consider Augustine's mother. Though she'd raised him in the faith, once Augustine became a young man, he left the church and began sowing his wild oats. He drank, visited brothels, developed a colorful language, and lived a decadent, self-preoccupied life. Meanwhile his mother was relentless in her prayers for him. Year after year she prayed. When he at long last came to the end of himself and the beginning of his life in Christ, he credited his mother's longstanding prayer for him as the reason why.
Some of you are in a similar place, whose spouse or children have yet to embrace Jesus as Lord and savior of their lives. Don't give up. Be relentless. “Never stop praying!” And model praying...
(1 Thessalonians 5:17)
Second, pursue Christ's presence in your life. Cling to him by letting his words and actions as recorded in the New Testament be ever before you and within you. Ask him to heal those inner wounds and to silence those inner lies that get triggered by those closest to you. Seek his presence and learn from him what holiness looks like. Paul gave us a good idea of that in another letter he wrote: “The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self control. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit's leading in every part of our lives, free of conceit, provocation and jealousy.” (Galatians 5:22,25-26)
And third, model for those you love a heart for worship. Make it a top priority to gather with others here in worship. Let your spouse & children see how vital this is to you. Don't do it when you don't have anything else planned, make your plans around it. Be holy as you glorify, he who is holy!
Practice holiness thru prayer, presence and worship and model the fruit of the Spirit at home!
Ever see the film, It's a Wonderful Life? The film positions George Bailey as the hero but his wife, Mary, is the real hero, the one who holds the family together and saves the day. George slowly gives in to the resentment of following in his father's footsteps instead of following his dreams for a life of adventure which ultimately leads him to despair when hard times hit.
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Mary, on the other hand, is resolute in her modeling a Christian position and presence in their relationship and in their home. It's Mary who saves her husband's business by selflessly offering their honeymoon money to save the bank and the community's best interests. It's Mary who stays by his side even when he is short with her and cranky at best. It's Mary who protects their children from his angry outbursts and prays for him when he's despondent, even urging the children to do the same. And it's Mary who contacts friends and family to rescue George when his career faces its worst crisis to date.
What a great picture not only of a Christian mother and wife, but of all who don't have it easy, living with someone who's more inclined to despair than faith when life's hurdles come their way. It's as if her character was written to model Christian holiness to America. For those of you who have fam-ily members who don't share your faith, make your home holy through prayer, presence and worship.
And may the peace of God, which Paul here urges us to live out as well, to “live in peace...”, keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus our Lord, as you model his holiness to those you love.
(1 Corinthians 7:15)